Maria Rainer Rilke

SO, if there is something you despise as a performer... you might consider trying it. I made all the students in my first acting class sign a petittion to get rid of the movement class and I hated, HATED audience interaction and I was going to be a physics being, not an actor and...  well, look at me now, the movement teacher, audience interactive theatre person... clearly the things I react against so strongly are powerful for me in some way

so check out what you detest...

Some careers have specific tragectories. Art careers, typically do not. This can make one feel really out of control of ones life or path. I think goal setting is talked about a lot in companies, weight lose, businesses, but as an artist? Especially if one is a worker who needs to be hired, booked, produced by others, it is often left to circumstance. Dream it, think about it but then WRITE IT DOWN. There is always the idea of showing it to others; going public with it, raising the stakes... but at least, get it down on paper. Burn it if you must (as a prayer versus as a 'that will never happen') but write it down... but being able to read it ten years later is a good idea. There is no promise in this that it will then manifest, but it will be one step closer.

She roles her eyes a bit when I use the word mentor, she loves the story of how we met, after seeing one of my shows, she waited for me and then after we hung out post show, she stepped out on the street late at night and in truly Elizabeth fashion, announced to the sleeping Queeen street that she had a new friend and she has been more than true to those words since then. That was 6 years ago. As she is mentor to so many, she prefers me as her friend and tells me so very clearly... But I cannot deny that she is a helpful role model in many ways.

Elizabeth has a similar history to my current life. She is a mother, a teacher, a dramaturg and a performer. Our approaches in many ways are different (and this is helpful too) but the commonalities are so helpful.  I Know what a pleasure it is to be a mentor, and I know that many of those I have mentored have become life long friends. Although Elizabeth and I have not worked together, she is a personal and professional road map at times, guide and support.

She also, at 80, has more energy and spunk than anyone I know! And this is immensely inspiring. I sadly will miss her 80th birthday party in Montreal that will be a dancing bash like no other I am sure... But walking arm in arm the streets of her home town, sitting in the cafe that she was at the opening for in the 50 's, eating gluten free pizza with her on Lygon Street... Well I feel blessed and happy and much less alone and lost on the path

I love Bruce Cockburn's song OPEN-

"I never live with balance
I always wake up nervous
Light comes at me sideways
I hold my breath forever 

I never live with balance
Though I've always liked the notion
I feel that endless hunger
For energy and motion "

And he didn't write this when he was young.

I understand this in my bones and yet I think I have managed a fair amount of balance... but there is this notion I have that it limits me somehow. I am truly not sure. I remember I was on this extraordinary committee years ago, there were 5 of us, all Baha'i artists working on a task force called 'The National Baha'i Arts Task Force' for the USA. Working with those people was really transformative for me. We were VERY diverse in every way... racial, culturally, artistically and one day we had this conversation about art and balance and we all agreed that the notion of being - well not necessarily wreckless, but... well, we weren't sure how to name it;

risk takers?

working dangerously?

on the edge?

Truthtellers?

But we also knew full well that being an artist doesn't mean you have to be a jerk... 

There was a lot of long silences in that discussion, that is the part that I remember the most. Deep personal thoughts I think were swirling in all of us...

Am I too safe? What does risk mean for me? How far have I gone? Where could I go further?

Of course we were all fully aware that there are also a lot delusions about what this means. Most alcoholic artists die young and do not fulfill their artistic vision really as well as they might. I would love to have seen where Keroauc went with his work... he might have produced some jewels if he learned to edit and refine even though people might disagree... but Keroauc could have had several 'periods' more in his work and i am sad we don't have those.

So, I do not mean to romanticize the 'bad boy or girl' at all. However, that is sometimes how we interpret this idea of the wild artist. Sometimes I wonder if we take off the reigns in one area (the work) do they just come off everywhere? Can one compartmentalise ones... risk? 

Of course most people are familiar with The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron which I know has helped so many people. 

There is also Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, which I was using when a lot of my friends were using The Artist's Way.  This book is VERY practical and really did help me move a lot of things forward (when I was doing this book my art life was doing well, but i was trying to get something ELSE besides art going in my life! As ART was my everything, so this book helped me get my art career to fund me to learn to scuba dive! I saw many people actually move forward with this book.

Two other books i highly recommend for artists are Stephen Larson's The Shaman's Doorway, one of the few good books that I have found on Shamanism for artists. Also The Drunken Universe by Peter Lamborn Wilson.

The Shaman's Doorway has some real challenges for you! Confronting death and those fun things! And The Drunken Universe is a great tool to get inside some of the best poetry in the world... Sufi poetry; sadly I have to read it in English.

In any case, these books are great and inexpensive ways to help with your creative process, no matter where you are in it.

I have been down that path before though… yup. It can be good... eventually. Meanwhile?

Yikes.

A lot of this digging up of the goo comes from acting work, the being in the moment work, the text analysis and making personal connections deeply... and challenging yourself when you feel yourself going through the motions (acting badly).

Yes, all you wanna be actors out there, it is really hard and only gets harder if you do it for real and want to be excellent… there is no way around the digging up of stuff, unless of course you are performing mindless garbage. Anything you sit on top of – well, will make your acting superficial, meaningless and plastic. So… as I try to get myself under the plastic? Oh my, the smell of issues left rotting and undealt with or the chipping away at the frozen bits, that hopefully melt into tears and on and on… and of course as an actor you are cataloguing all the switches and triggers and making sure you can get BACK there… what fun.

So that’s been my last few days… still chipping and digging and airing things out and more to unwrap indeed…

EVER BUILD SUSTAINABLE ART AROUND A PRIMARY FOCUS ON COMMERCIAL GAIN 

and yet, I believe that managing art in a way that produces income for artists is critical...

theatre must be responsible, practical and business minded, otherwise it has no audience-

- to be real creators, we must also hold the destroyer within us (yea, I am in Asia... can you tell?) and that can mess with trying to make money at times, we all know that...

Artists do not in the end, need money to make art, but they need money to live like anyone else and time to make art... but we have all seen over and over again amazing art happening with nothing and yet... real theatre, good theatre can be wildly expensive...

even the artists here in Bali, the children creating their Ogo Ogo's come around and ask for money...

BUT IDEALLY One needs a passionate core from which to sell or fundraise. We are often distracted by looking for the 'hook'. So often however, a hook is not ultimately something one can predict (unless you have vast marketing research offices like Apple). Often it is the sole proprietor artist/innovator that just has the right idea at the right time AND PASSION TO DRIVE IT... and sometimes LOOKING for that hook can throw you so far off your game, you end up with an idea that may be new, but no drive or passion to realize it and likely someone will get that idea out there before you.

I have gotten better at this over the years, but using a good hook and finding one has never been my strong point. We all have seen a lot of work that is one big hook and a not so substantial show... and we have seen the opposite. I think I am getting better at putting my business hat on and looking at a piece I am doing and identifying a hook that can live side by side in a constructive way, with my desire to reach people in a positive and authentic way and deliver - hopefully- a solid piece of work. Yet, i have lost opportunities many times by not doing this well and thinking that putting the business hat on was a waste of time or somehow degrading my work... all not true. 

If I want an audience, and as a theatre artist, well, who doesn't? then this is not degrading, it is required and can be fun... if I can you learn to overlook the darker side of this... ie: sex sells, naked women sell... of course. But that does not mean I have to go there! I remember in the NYC Fringe years ago, i had a show and had a great review in the Village Voice but the festival had actually put me in a space that was not only very out of the way, but was located wrong on their festival map- so people couldn't find it. When i went to the one show that also had a good review, i found out it was a show directed by an old friend- he said 'Well of course people are coming to my show, i am giving out free martini's at the door!' Now that is a hook!