Performance in Aral Sea and what I learned

I was not demanding enough about the conditions, as simple as they were, for the 'performance' in Moynaq - the Aral Sea (which was not really supposed to be a performance in my mind). Sometimes being a so called Diva is appropriate... I stupidly became a bit of a diva AFTER the piece.. venting my frustration with another performer stealing my venue at a bad time. not helpful... so... learning to state what I need to do good work indeed is critical... BEFORE hand and standing up for my space. Using the territorial nature that we all have innately to create some boundaries... for when I warm up and where I perform in the case of this kind of site specific performance, staking out my ground.

I was not alone, but we all knew it would likely be this way and we agreed so... que sera... ah hind sight!

external skill AND authenticity

actors who have great simple authenticity -

unless they get language chops, movement chops, look the right way, can do gymnastics, great comic skill, have an IN somewhere, know how to work the biz etc... will be just another actor

and will have a hard time actually working in theatre

In North America, Film, reality TV and the shrinking of independent theatre performance spaces (small black boxes with 30-100 seats) has become so understandably dominant, that sometimes we forget that certain external skills are CRITICAL for theatre... (be it classical text, movement, dance, acrobatics, clown, comedy...) 

and many actors have little to none... 

Actors who can deliver authentic moments with contemporary text in intimate environments... AND can do a back flip and switch into Jacobean text... now there is something to work with!

Most directors want actors who can DO something... not just 'act'... 

SO

learn something, ONE THING... REALLY WELL

become the BEST at it... whatever it is...

belly dancing, dub poetry, drumming, folk dance, concertina, acrobatics, a new language...

keep making your bag of tricks bigger and bigger... and be the best so that you are a good actor who can also.... fill in the blank!

What am I learning here in Bali at the moment as an artist...

Someone asked me many blog posts ago, what I am learning here as an artist, if it was changing my perspective. At that time, it was too soon, and it is still too soon... but here are a few musing so far-

1) I am myself everywhere I go (dah)

2) the artists here are not PAID per se, except in certain circumstances (performing for tourists) and I think a lot of the challenge/confusion around artists in the west is related to economics and how we value what is done for MONEY over what is not... child raising, cooking, embroidery, many artists... I am beginning to see that a lot of this relates to WOMEN's work versus MEN's work. This culture is still very patriarchal and I find that hard at times to not judge and react to from a western POV.  BUT these artists have value as their religion still has value and their art is integrated into their religion. SO, you can be an amazing singer/dancer/mask maker etc... and make things only for ceremony and be valued... because they NEED those things for their ceremonies to happen. The women do most of the impermanent offerings though- the bulk of the work.

3) As materials get more expensive here, people are stopping their art work and getting jobs in tourism. There are too many painters and carvers and not enough buyers and they cannot afford to make too many things that do not sell. Even things made for ceremony, if you do not make them yourself, you must buy them. So if a banjar (community) HAS a mask maker, then they don't have to buy one... etc... if you know how to make a Penjur, then you don't have to buy one etc... not really unlike at home, but how many of us can and do make the kinds of elaborate decorations that we see here? Very few... and we do have church choirs still some places, but not a lot... and dance? In a church? well there are some liturgical dances here and there but they are often done by children and rarely seen by most people... although they do still I exist I hope somewhere.

4) What does all this mean for me?

a) Well I really wanted to be immersed in a culture where ART and RELIGION were entwined- and that is true here... but then there is a lot of superstition and... empty worship (not unlike some church back home or people going through the motions at Baha'i Feast). So there are people of Faith everywhere, sometimes they are also artists. Here there is till a high level of craftmenship among the people still (HIGH!!!) and a respect for ceremony... but it is very hard (and presumptuous and dangerous) to evaluate FAITH. I have not spent enough time with the artists to know/find those who work with Faith yet... that is what I want to see/learn from

b) Makes it easier for me to remember that my work has value PAID OR UNPAID if it is EXCELLENT and of SERVICE... there is lots of paid work that does not meet those criteria from my POV, which is completely subjective of course...

York University MFA theatre grads about to perform their solo shows!

The grad class i taught last year is returning to start their second year at York while I am on sabbatical and I am very sad to miss these shows. They have to create a 10-15 minute solo that they work on over the summer that is supposed to address their artistic challenge. They are often vulnerable and revealing. Some go on to become work that manifests in the world and tours, others are really experiments in service to their growth during the program. I am sad not to see them this year- this is a strong and brave class.

I sent them a note of encoruagement...

I just read your excellent intro's to your solos and I TRULY am sad to miss them... as i am about to start rehearsal for the day, working on my own artistic challenges and preparing for some very unusual and challenging shows soon...

I feel for you, I am excited for you and I am so sad to miss this...

I know that this is a rich time, the second year is such a coming together, where you get to strut your stuff and continue to integrate what you are learning at York, with what you brought to York, with what you worked on over the summer... it is so hard to move forward and not go backwards; one has to sit in territory that is so unfamiliar and there is no way to feel 'good' about what you are doing at times, because nothing is familiar... there are no guide posts and you are your worst judge.

and it can be lonely work... because it is so personal and so few people, even often those close to you, can relate!! And at the same time, you so need support and someone to talk to about it all! I hope you have found some support over the summer and can use the York faculty well when you return for YOUR journey to continue, as it always does.

So break some more legs, fall on your face AT YORK so that you can keep moving forward as you have been and will continue to... you cannot stop the river, so relax and enjoy the ride if you can... time to let it all hang out there and if you do your job well

someone will be moved/touched and maybe even changed... even if you SUCK, which has nothing to do with it anyway.... it is what moves through you... not you... so good luck getting out of the way of whatever it is that is arriving through you...

damn I wish I was there

Spiritual/artistic rigour

What about spiritual rigour? Where has the value for this gone in art? Therein lies I think one of the challenges for artists. Our work lies in the domain of the spiritual in many ways. The less we value ‘God’ or the pursuit of truth, love, wisdom, detachment, peace without a price tag attached… the less we value art. Working artists are having to make choices everyday to balance the bank book and this overriding spiritual work that we all try to do. Being the truth teller does not always line up with the bank book. Disney’s rewrites of classic stories are a fine example. If you want a movie to be seen at all you have to consider ‘the market’ or remain obscure, and obscurity is difficult, not just because of the ego- but because most of us need an audience of some kind to do what we do- financially, spiritually and artistically. Artists are condemned for ‘selling out’ to the market and also condemned for being too opinionated… or simply not taken seriously if they are not ‘famous’. I think this is a test of our commitment... do we keep making art when no one appears to want it? That is a big question... I am glad Van Gogh kept working... but Van Gogh is Van Gogh in hind site... right now I am just another slob makin' art!! Fame also makes Van Gogh, Van Gogh... this is an eternal dance... there is no answer. Sometimes it is just the obsession and the fact that I don't know how to do anything else that keeps me going... at other times it is closer to the rigour i need for prayer and meditation as well... carry wood chop water, even when it feels all backwards, you have to keep doing it...